Ready to give up after almost a year of trying.
I’ve been trying to love a menstrual cup for almost a year. I started with a diva cup that I bought from CVS… After losing it inside of my vagina and struggling to retrieve it multiple times I came to the conclusion that I have a high cervix but also a quite narrow and tight vagina. I’ve currently been trying to use a lily cup size a for months. I’m 31.. no kids and I’m quite in tune with my anatomy. No matter what I do I can’t shove the thing up there and get it to open… I’ve read multiple forums and watched multiple YouTube videos to no avail. I’ve tried multiple folds for months.. different positions of inserting.. no matter what it never seems to open and I just leak and leak. I’ve tried pushing against the wall and making it open on itself but I have noticed that it seems to always be folded over on itself. I’ve read that when its opened properly you should be able to twist it.. what?! That thing is squished in there so tightly it’s not even possible. I’m about at my wit’s end. It seems so convenient for me.. but not when I have to use pads with it! I’m so frustrated… I’ve literally been trying so hard for almost a year but I always end up going back to tampons ?. What am I doing wrong? Is it my anatomy?
Hi There!
I’m sorry to hear that you’re not having any luck with the menstrual cups that you’ve tried so far.
Most people find that the Diva Cup is too firm and too long for them, so it’s a bit refreshing to hear someone who finds it very different to the rest…though, that still didn’t do you any good.
The LilyCup can be a tricky one. It is on the softer side and it doesn’t have any air holes. Many people find that cups with no air holes are harder to open as well as harder to release the suction before removing it.
You mentioned that you tried multiple folds. Had you tried the labia fold? It seems to be the one that every uses with a difficult to open cup. It would probably be a hard one to do with the LilyCup, but the Diva Cup should be easy enough for this fold style.
Although there isn’t a huge difference between the small 43mm and large 45mm Diva Cup or the small 40mm and large 42mm LilyCup diameter, can you tell me which size you’ve tried for both? This will help me find something that might be in those areas if they were comfortable enough to work with.
With a high cervix, I would stick with a “V”-shaped cup for the length, but something on the firmer side to help the cup to open without a lot of coaxing.
Sadly, there aren’t a lot of long and firm cups out there. The one that I would suggest looking into is no longer being made, but can still be found on Bonanza. It’s called the Alicia Cup. They only offer the small and medium, but both of these still have a good length to them, don’t have an extremely wide diameter, and have a nice long stem. There’s a video about them on YouTube that has a link to the Bonanza page or google Alicia Menstrual Cup – the video should come up.
My daughter loved this cup when she was first learning because it was firm, long, and opened on its own.
The only other cup that I think might be easy to open without problems, is the Yuuki “Soft” version. I’m going to leave the “Classic” version off the table because it’s extremely firm and might not fold up as small or comfortable enough for a narrower vaginal opening. I would suggest the Yuuki large for length and an easy reach with a high cervix.
As for twisting the cup after it’s inserted, I’ve never had a lot of luck doing that by pinching the base. I normally insert a finger next to the cup and swipe around the body to make sure that it opened and that my cervix hasn’t been pushed to the side. When I do this, my cup might also twist a bit.
One last thing, after you insert your cup, squat and bear down bringing the cup closer to the opening of the vagina and then wipe the grip rings/base of the cup and stem. This will help get rid of some of the residual blood and eliminate spotting (not from a leaking cup or a cup that has pushed the cervix to the side).
Good Luck and let me know if you have any additional questions.
