Ladies, when it comes to PMS and its symptoms we are in this tribe together. We all have seen and been possessed by the PMS Monster. Of course we can blame it on estrogen and the roller costar our hormones ride on round and round during this time. It might sneak up on you or you may be fully prepared. Whatever the case, right before your period it will happen making you a complete ball of high and low (and red hot) emotions.
The common PMS symptoms such as cramps, mood swings and headaches greet us every month. Most of us I’m sure look at our cycles like an old enemy. Let’s turn that around for a few minutes and share some of the outlandish, hysterical and just plain ludicrous anecdotes surrounding these crazy emotional moments that we’ve collected over the years. I’ll start first.
This one puts me to shame but my partner says it is so funny that I really must share it. You have to start off knowing that my overall temperament is quite sweet and mellow a majority of the time. I’m the picture of congeniality and happy-face-lady day in and day out. I don’t really get angry. I’m more the one that people rely on to remain calm and diffuse tension filled situations. But this particular day I was feeling like crap and the PMS Monster had me in its grip. My partner suggested we order some take-out food for dinner. Being a darling he did just that and went out to get our favorite Chinese meal.
We sat down to eat and I opened my container of shrimp in lobster sauce and it was cold! A wave of anger rose up from inside me. Through clenched teeth I told my partner that it was cold. He was indifferent and said what’s the big deal just eat it. Wrong answer. I completely lost my sh#t.
As he was about to take a bite of his meal I grabbed the container out of his hands and threw it against the wall! My mind just couldn’t handle that he was eating his meal while mine was inedible and cold. Before the sh#t hit the fan so-to-speak, I realized what I was doing and that I was behaving like a spoiled brat. The shock on my partner’s face was absolute. Till this day I still die when remembering his face in that moment! Needless to say I was deeply ashamed that he saw me behaving in this manner. I have to give him credit though; he simply got up, said he loved me and was going out get us something else to eat. That guy was a keeper!
He came back with another meal, plus a box of chocolates. Handing them to me with a kiss he said he hoped I felt better. Then he started laughing and I think he laughed for the next hour. Now when I just look angry, he puts down his food!
So, anger and irrational moments of rage are definitely one of the emotions that surface during this time. But another even stronger feeling I would say is the weepy, over-sensitive one. There are so many funny stories surrounding this it was hard to just pick one. It never fails to amaze me how I can be reading my Facebook thread and cry at just about every little video I watch. From an amazing athletic performance, to a cat commercial! I think the strangest thing I’ve cried about while PMSing was a deodorant ad. I know, super stupid, but all I could think of was, ‘That lady looks so happy!’
Enough about me. I decided to collect some more funny stories that we can all laugh at I’m sure as well as relate to. Here are some of my favorites from a group of good friends.
“I remember once when I was in college, sitting in my dorm room and crying really hard because I was out of potato chips. I’m on the floor in a puddle because of a food product! I always crave a combination of sweet and salty during my pre-period, so I used what I had on hand. Which at that instance turned out to be cheese puffs (you the know the electric orange colored ones) topped with chocolate hazelnut spread. Pretty satisfying!”
“This one was before I was married so almost seven years ago now. But I remember I was PMSing hard core. The man I was dating took me to a pancake restaurant for a late night snack after our movie. I ordered my favorite, chocolate chip pancakes. When my order arrived the kitchen had forgotten the chocolate chips and the waiter just served me a stack of plain pancakes. That’s all it took to start me bawling like a baby. I couldn’t stop my sobbing no matter how hard I tried. When the poor guy asked me what was wrong I got it out that he had forgotten my chocolate chips. I have never seen a waiter move so fast! And I have never seen a MOUNTAIN of chocolate chips like that before or since.”
“When I PMS, I never get the cravings or emotional ups and downs per se; the WORST thing in the world for me is finding something to wear. I usually pre-plan my work clothes so that it takes me less time in the morning, but when PMSing nothing looks right. I look at my exploding closet full of outfits in tears. I go into full-on mourning mode believing that it is a fact that I have absolutely nothing to wear.”
“One night I burst into tears because of a microwave meal. I got this image in my mind of random lonely people eating frozen dinners every night, because they had nobody who cared about them making sure they ate home-cooked meals.”
“Whenever I feel the PMS monster enter my body, I try to placate myself and just hide away. This involves my comfy pajamas, a couple of boxes of mixed chocolates and sleeping bag. I climbed into bed with a bowl full of treats, the sleeping bag and a brainless book. As soon as I got comfy, my sister, who was visiting for the week, jumped on the bed, stuck her hand in the bowl and gobbled up half. I looked at her; she smiled at me. I told her to get out immediately! When she asked what was wrong I threw the bowl against the wall and stormed out. Yes, I went back two minutes later, picked up the chocolate and ate them all. Thank goodness my sister can relate and we just laughed about it later.”
I’m sure you have many doozies of your own. So save these for when the going get’s tough and you need a good laugh.